Sometimes when we see others talking while looking at us, or when we hear laughs from the corner of the room, we tend to concern our minds with thoughts of suspicion. Thoughts like, “Are they talking about me?”, “Am I wearing something stupid?”, “What are they talking about?” and “How do I stop caring about what people think?”
With such thoughts, we suddenly look at our clothes and begin to find faults in every little thing. And sometimes, we go to the nearest washroom just to check and make sure if everything’s alright.
We certainly don’t want to care. Then why do we? and how not to? Let’s find out in this article on “How to stop caring what people think?”. I listed out 7 ways that will easily get you out of this mentality.
1. Accept The Facts, Reject The Suspicion.
The truth is, we often put ourselves in the spotlight. We believe that people pay more attention to us than they actually do. There is a psychological phenomenon called “The spotlight effect”. We often put ourselves under the spotlight to avoid feeling lonely. There have been countless studies on this subject.
The first step is to accept that it is in you too. Once you accept it, you’ll realize that people are actually just like you. They too have conceived the society (in their minds) from a spotlight perspective. We are not the center of the universe.
Note: If you ever feel suspicious of someone and think that they talk behind your back–Just stop feeding your awareness with suspicion. If you open yourself up, you’ll realize that people are often pretty chill.
2. Stop Trying To Look Unique.
Do you know what makes a person ordinary?
It is the urge to look extra-ordinary, unique, valuable, cool, and respectable. A person who doesn’t realize his own uniqueness will always TRY to be unique, which would then make him fall under the 99 percent category.
We are humans, every single individual on earth is a different being. We are nothing without everyone else. All of us are connected. If you believe someone doesn’t like you, thinks you are awkward, believes you are worthless. It is not you, it is them.
Attention seeking is intrinsic among humans because of the habits formed by our mothers in our childhood. Whenever we got hurt or someone said something to us, the first thing we’d do is go tell it to our moms.
It was the right thing to do in the past, but now, we can survive on our own, so it’s time to drop this habit of attention-seeking.
Note: Don’t try to look, act or be unique. Extra-ordinary individuals are actually “extra” ordinary (more ordinary than ordinary). Be you! If something hurts you, tell them it hurts you. If something makes you happy, tell them it makes you happy.
3. What Goes Around, Comes Around.
It is clear that we perceive ourselves, as we perceive others. If you find faults in others and criticize people (even mentally). You are going to feel criticism around you. We find evidence and believe in things that we repeatedly speak to ourselves in our minds. Criticizing others will sooner or later boil down to self-criticism (Even if the self-criticism comes in disguise as someone else, in the mind.).
Note: If you only find faults in others, you will only see faults in yourself. A mind thinking about apples will sooner or later think about the place where they come from.
4. Improve Your Self-Image.
Self-image is the most important factor in defining what we do, how we live, our bank balance, our lifestyle, and our body shape. A person with a healthy self-image doesn’t think about their past and how they’ve ruined things. They either plan about their future or work on their present self.
Study self-help books, work hard on something, make good friends and your self-image will naturally improve. The more time you spend with good people, the better self-image you develop.
Did you know? Our income and IQ are equal to the average of 5 people we spend most of our time with.
Note: Work on your self-image! Keep good company around you or no company at all.
5. Provide Value To The Society In Some Way.
Be a part of some NGO or a community (Like Facebook groups) where you can share your knowledge and expertise with people. When you do this, you naturally improve your self-image. You subconsciously give more value to yourself. Stop caring about people you don’t want to care about. Don’t stop caring about people who value you.
If you share something great and knowledgeable, you’ll definitely receive praise from those who seek your help. Remember, there are millions looking for your expertise and knowledge (not opinion). Opinions cannot be sold because they are always free.
Note: Provide value to society in some way!
6. Most Importantly, Stop worrying About It.
Anxiety, suspicion, and anger come to those who worry too much. Stop worrying about everything and breath. When you stop worrying about everything you become relaxed and give your best. Know that worrying is pointless and that “A relaxed mind can achieve and figure out solutions to problems that a worried mind cannot see.”
Breathe and become mindful of your thoughts. See when worrying thoughts come and say to them “All is well” or “relax and all shall be revealed”.
Note: All is well! Nothing really matters as much as we think it does. What could go wrong? At most, I’ll die. Everyone has to die someday. I better die doing what I love than being scared my entire life.
7. Use Autosuggestion.
Autosuggestion is the repetition of one thought throughout the day, day after day until it is planted deep inside the part of the subconscious and unconscious mind. There is an interesting phenomenon that is worth mentioning. If you recite one positive thought through days. All the negative thoughts become absent and the mind finds traction towards other positive thoughts. Just one thought can change your entire brain chemistry. Choose it wisely. Check out this: The Power Of Autosuggestion.
Note: Autosuggestion is a powerful tool if you believe it is. Use autosuggestion to change your life.
Apply these to your daily routine and you’ll begin to see changes in people and yourself. People are not as bad as they seem. Sometimes it is our own self-image that makes the environment around us appear hostile. Accept this. If you do, you have already begun not caring about what they think–because you have seen the old caring you. Once you see yourself completely, you naturally change. This is a fundamental law of human nature. Humans hate being latched onto things forever.
You already don’t care about what people think or say. You are you, no one can be you. They can only be a beta version of you. You are special and needed but if you don’t give yourself to others, counter-intuitively you care too much. Become altruistic towards people if you want. Stop caring about what people think and you’ll feel liberated.
If you like this post, please share. Comment below what you think! Thank you for reading through!
Here are some interesting topics that you might like.
Welcome to Shuflash. I’m Shubhanshu Rawat, a yoga practitioner with 2500+ hrs of time spent in meditation & 250,000+ words of published content on Shuflash. I have no plans to stop. What’s stopping you?