I’m going to discuss the most important aspect of parenting and human psychology. Since I learnt this in my early 20s to become successful, it will make for an amazing parenting guide to help children shape their future. And also, it’ll help people wanting change and transformation within themselves.
Because my mom didn’t bother me when I ate too many chocolates and biscuits, I grew up as an obese teenager. You know that kid no one wants in their team? I was just like that.
We’re often met with internal struggles and battles that we want to impart onto our children. For example, we often say things like — because I was bullied for eating chocolates, I’ll not give it to my children.
If you introspect, you’ll realize that most of our actions align with our beliefs and upbringing. We’ve made thousands of associations with things, especially as kids.
If you play video games for too long, you’re going to fail in life. If someone bullies you, you have to fight back!
Kids are sensitive to mental patterns because they are constantly learning from you. In fact, a growing child can even pick your psychological patterns unconsciously. It happens because your beliefs reflect in your activities in subtle forms. For instance, the way you hold something, the way you eat your food, your sleeping posture, eating habits, everything! You can learn more about this phenomenon here: Science direct
Parenting Guide: The role of awareness
Until your children become teenagers, they are still inside the womb of your mind. During this time, you have the power to shape their future to a large degree.
So, the question is, how do you stop yourself from imparting limiting, preconceived beliefs onto your kids?
The answer is simple. You don’t try! Take these steps instead.
#1. Create the right mental paradigm for kids
The rule is simple! Awareness comes first, then anything else. Don’t focus on things you don’t want in your children. Rather — think about the attributes and qualities you do want.
And when you do that, you implant the right paradigms in your children. So, for instance, you can surround yourself with objects that inspire a sense of curiosity, creativity, and awe in you!
#2. Become what you want them to be.
Up to a certain age, your children don’t learn what you say or teach them — but HOW YOU ARE. Most of us already know this fact but choose to ignore it.
Do this. First, take a piece of note and write down the qualities you’d like to have in your child.
Second, develop a love for what you’ve written down. Whether reading, drawing, dancing, or building beautiful houses in Minecraft, it can be anything. Show them your passion for it. You can even do this to embed positive behavior in them.
If you want to raise a pianist, learn piano and have fun playing it! Don’t you think your child will try to impress you by playing it better than you someday?
Contrarily, a scheduled training-based program sounds like putting him under confinement.
#3. Create the right associations
We have a habit of spotting what’s right and wrong — What must be done and what mustn’t. This may create negative associations in your child. For instance, when you tell your child to focus on academics rather than video games, you’re putting studies and video games in the same boat.
Now, he’ll put studying and playing on opposite sides. If playing is fun, studying is no fun. Whenever he would open his book to learn something new, he’d say to himself, I should play instead. Or — this is boring.
If your child is addicted to video games, try this! Stick a wallpaper of his favorite video game with a quote underneath that says something like — This is an engineering marvel or the work of an artistic mind. You’ll soon witness the change in his behavior.
Parenting Guide: The Bottom line
It may seem like you’re heavily trying to control your child’s future. But actually, you’re just helping him explore more things.
Ultimately, we don’t know where they’d end up because it also depends on the people they meet and the choices they make. You’d be contented with the fact, however, that you helped him become a fully flourishing human being. And that’s all that matters.
Thank you for reading the parenting guidepost. Comment below your thoughts and the tactics that you use to train your children to thrive in the world. I’m interested. Share if you liked the information. Have a great day!
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Welcome to Shuflash. I’m Shubhanshu Rawat, a yoga practitioner with 2500+ hrs of time spent in meditation & 250,000+ words of published content on Shuflash. I have no plans to stop. What’s stopping you?