He Sees You Through & Through—What Is There to Fear?

A bhagwaan who cannot fulfill a wish, who just watches as his devotee cry out in silence — what kind of god is that, and why should I bow to him/her?

Such a creator shall see her devotee burn himself up in her own fire. She shall watch her devotee act in defiance to everything that she is — see him defy his body with his own body, defy his mind with his own mind — break himself up. After all, it’s the test of HIS devotion.

If the object of devotion is Bhagawati, the subject (devotee) shall surrender his life to her in his devotion. But if a devotee comes to the conclusion that there is no object of devotion (god), he shall turn rebellious, sacrificing his life to punish that nothingness that created him. This is also a form of devotion.

I was rebellious and agnostic when I started on the spiritual path. The question of transcending nature never arises when there’s nothing but nature, does it?

But I was wrong about one thing…

Just as a father cannot see his fallen child, how could your Bhagwaan watch you broken and sad?

The devotee and his god aren’t separate entities. They are two sides of the same coin. If you truly are a devotee — then I declare, that when you are crying in agony all alone, you are not alone and your bhagwaan is watching you. Do you think he doesn’t know?.. He knows!

To think that your desire weighs heavier than the creation itself, you must be a big fool. Do you believe the source of creation has to put some effort to listen to you?

If you’re a devotee, forget about your desire because fulfilling it is not your duty. It’s a Ram Kaaj, which will be taken up by his beloved devotee. You know who I am talking about here.

कवन सो काज कठिन जग माहीं। जो नहिं होइ तात तुम्ह पाहीं॥
राम काज लगि तव अवतारा। सुनतहिं भयउ पर्बताकारा॥3॥

Nature of Creation

While it’s all true. Why do so many people die, commit suicide, suffer and starve. Why does it appear that your prayers are left unheard? Let’s understand the nature of creation.

भूमिरापोऽनलो वायुः खं मनो बुद्धिरेव च।
अहङ्कार इतीयं मे भिन्ना प्रकृतिरष्टधा ॥

अपरेयमितस्त्वन्यां प्रकृतिं विद्धि मे पराम् ।
जीवभूतां महाबाहो ययेदं धार्यते जगत् ॥

The gross aspect of creation has 8 qualities (called the ashthadha-prakriti): Earth, fire, water, air, space, the mind, the intelligence, and the ego. These fall under the apara-prakriti category because they are physically constricted.

However, there’s a prakriti (a quality of nature) which is beyond these 8, called para-prakriti. This prakriti is populated by beings that manifest as narratives, incidences, and subtle qualities in the very fabric of space to enforce (or cause) creation into having a dual nature. There’s no such thing as luck or coincidences.

Both para and apara prakriti are working within you. This means if the object of your desire is associated with apara-prakriti, then para-prakriti will get in the way (if it doesn’t align with it), and vice versa. In a normal individual, there’s little to no para-prakriti, so that explains the actions of the world.

You must have heard the enlightenment story of Gautama Buddha. On the purnima night, when Gautama was to attain enlightenment, the general Māra, came in his way to stop him by tempting him with his daughters. There’s a whole story to how Gautama defeated him, which I wouldn’t be covering here.

The point is, as you step into new territories of perception, you also make yourself available to entities who try to stop you. I’ve had so many instances during my college days, where when I am meditating, things would just start to fall off to distract me. Sometimes, in my vision I saw a distorted dark skinned wrinkled man, sitting around 5 inches away, staring at my face. Paralysis, shadows, you name it! At the time, I deployed a rudimentary energy form to deal with them on my own. There’s a whole tangent to this story, which would be very interesting to cover in a future blog post.

Whose side are you on?

So, to enable yourself to receive what you desire, you must prepare yourself for it through tapa or yagya. This means, you have to offer something to the para-prakriti to make its aspects stronger within yourself. There is a whole science to this which is outside the scope of this blog post. Explaining it requires the right context, or else people would misunderstand everything.

However, if you’re a devotee, every breath and every moment of your life is already devoted to para-prakriti because the quality “devotion” is the foundation of para-prakriti itself.

This is the reason why living as a sanyasi or yogi is the wisest and most fulfilling way to live.

That’s all for now.